My Screenplay for Yesterday 2

a scene I wrote for the sequel to the widely beloved 2019 film, Yesterday

If you are a permanent resident of Los Angeles, California, you are legally required to have written or be writing a screenplay. Failure to comply results in imprisonment. This is the real reason Kentavious Caldwell-Pope had to play Laker games with an ankle monitor. I don't agree with this law but it is what it is. For my screenplay, I have decided to further explore the Yesterday Cinematic Universe. Many say that the movie where the guy wakes up from a bus accident to find that he is the only one who knows about the Beatles mined all there was to take from that concept, but I disagree. In this spiritual successor, a man, David Trone (the congressman who took those selfies of himself while wearing a plastic bag on his head during January 6. In this movie he is also the President because the movies are about dreaming of a better world) wakes to find himself in an alternate universe in which "Bad Communication" by Sufjan Stevens was never made. It is the most forgettable song on the record, so much so that when I was driving back to Los Angeles this afternoon while listening to Age of Adz, I realized I had completely forgotten that it existed. If this morning someone had asked me if Sufjan had a song called "Bad Communication" on Age of Adz (my favorite Sufjan album which I have listened to many times) I would have confidently answered no. Anyway, the following is a scene I thought of on the drive while my friends slept, leaving me alone with my thoughts for two and a half hours — a dangerous thing for a boy like me to have. But I had it. 

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INTERIOR - White House, Oval Office

President David Trone: I love Age of Adz. All ten songs are incredible. 

Vice President Ryan Moloney: I agree Mr President. Seeing "Impossible Soul" live was an incredible experience.

Second Gentleman Doug Emhoff: God, I wish we were together back then so I could've experienced that with you.

Emily Ratajkowski: That would've been beautiful we would've been the coolest throuple at Coachella that year. 

VP Moloney: I wish so too sweeties. (really wistfully) There's always the next Coachella. 

Meanwhile, President Trone is trying on different plastic bags to wear on his head, nobody is noticing because they are all having such a nice time reminiscing on a shared experience that didn't happen. 

VP Moloney: My one gripe with Age of Adz is that they put Part 5 of "Impossible Soul" on the C side of the vinyl release. What a blunder that was. I hope they repress it the way it's meant to be played someday. 

Emily Ratjkowski: Yeah, the song isn’t even that long. It would’ve fit on a single side of vinyl no problem.

NFL Wide Receiver Kedarius Toney: We young.....everybody makes mistakes. Y'all lookin at the situation like "this or that" kuz it ain't y'all.....having so much too say too....he know he messed up don't drag em for it.....that's goofy to me

VP Moloney: You make a good point Kedarius. It was probably out of his hands. It was 2010, the world was so different then.....

Ella Emhoff: I prefer All Delighted People anyway.

All, in unison: Shut the fuck up Ella!

Emily Ratajkowski: Go play with your sock collection.

Doug Emhoff: Haha, good one Emily.

VP Moloney: Woah, David. Playing with the bags again?

President Trone: I am not playing. I'm examining.

VP Moloney: While we're on the subject...you definitely use those bags to jack off right?

President Moloney: Ryan, I love you, but can you please stop asking me that every day? How many times do I have to tell you? I don't even know how to jack off. 

Doug Emhoff, under his breath but intentionally loud enough for everyone to hear: I could teach you.

VP Moloney: How do you not know how? Why do you expect me to believe that? It makes it seem like you 1000% are using those bags to jack off. And stop offering to teach him, Doug! That's maybe even a weirder thing to say than David's thing. We're not turning this into a quartet. That would be crazy. 

President Trone: It's not my fault the American school system fails so many.

Emily Ratajkowski: It kind of is now.

VP Moloney: Get his ass Emily!

President Trone: Everyone out of my office now!

Everyone leaves. From outside the Oval Office you can hear President Trone blasting the Home Depot theme song on his bluetooth JBL speaker 

Kedarius Toney: Why's he always jacking off to that song?

Doug Emhoff: People from Maryland are just like that.